i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
