I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
