Kiss
Puke
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
