Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
