Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
