Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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