I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize