David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
