1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
