i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
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Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
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Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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