I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
