Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
