I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
