Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
