I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
