My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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