i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
