u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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