Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
