and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
