I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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