sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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