My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
