Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize