my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
