wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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