My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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