sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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