I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
