so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Of course I have a pirate flag
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
