Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
