I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
