i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
