So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Bring me that man meat
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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