we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
