D3 body, D1 cock
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
