In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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