No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
