Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
