he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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