I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
