I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
