we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We left an ass print on the piano.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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