So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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