New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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