he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
