Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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