Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize