Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
