Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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