Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
