We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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