I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
