do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
