First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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