stop calling my apartment porn island.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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