I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
