Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
