thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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