I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Holy sore nipples Batman
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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