Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
