i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning