so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
