it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder