if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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