he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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