Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
