I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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