so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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