I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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